I am currently reading the inspirational and remarkable book “Atomic Habits” by James Clear. In his remarkable story James recounts overcoming a horrifying basketball injury which in milliseconds changed the trajectory of his life.
“In a fraction of a second, I had a broken nose, multiple skull fractures and two shattered eye sockets.” It took James six long years to rebuild his life and reclaim his athletic excellence. In this journey lie the seeds of his wisdom.
This remarkable book has changed millions of lives.
It was these words that changed mine. James Clear quotes the entrepreneur and investor Naval Ravikant that said:
“To write a great book you must first become the book.”
These words stayed with me. Because I could only write about my journey of healing once I was healed. I was not writing about finding THE way but merely about finding MY way.
However I realized that my transformation could be broken down into two areas which were pivotal to changing my identity.
The one was a journey of health and shifting my entire life based on changing my daily habits. The other parallel journey was that of changing my mindset and that informed my habits.
But at the root of both journeys was kindness and feeling a greater sense of self-worth.
Kindness and self-forgiveness has been the key to my journey.
I used to battle depression, anxiety extreme yo-yo dieting and eating disorders. Now at almost 64 I look and feel younger than I did at 50!
But it is the daily habits over time that shifted something and cumulatively that shifted everything.
I used to be a bloated, stressed workaholic entrepreneur. Now I am an ambassador for integrated living, not just physical health.
I have not weighed myself for six long years! Now moving is part of my identity and food is no longer my enemy but my delight. Becoming whole changed my relationship with my husband, my children, my family, my friends.
But above all it changed my relationship with myself.
I no longer live a life of punishing myself.
I no longer reside in the tortured state of self-derision and “not good enoughness”.
Because in kindness comes joy and in joy there is no torture and no judgment.
As James Clear writes:
“How we feel influences how we act and how we act influences how we feel. Desire initiates, pleasure sustains. Wanting and liking are the two drivers of behavior. If it’s not desirable, you would have no reason to do it. Desire and craving are what initiates a behavior. But if it’s not enjoyable, you have no reason to repeat it. Pleasure and satisfaction are what sustains a behavior.
Feeling motivated gets you to act. Feeling successful gets you to repeat.”
Habits start with loving yourself enough to feel worthy of every small change.
Thank you for tribing with me.